Nearly There
By Ian Clark
WEEK 13
August 2nd 2008
3rd TEAM v PORTCHESTER 2nds (A)
1st TEAM v EASTLEIGH & OTTERBOURNE (H)
Friday was wet and there's drizzle this morning. A wet Friday can be worse than a wet Saturday because groundsmen do not get an opportunity to cut wickets or outfields. The firsts are away to Eastleigh, a team on the fringes of relegation and the former team of Colin, Otis and Jewelly.
Tom and I get to the Hollow and Bob's face reflects the North Atlantic depression hanging over us. Overruled three weeks ago when the Firsts played Fawley, Bob is distancing himself from the decision this week but he is a moody presence.
The next hour is a study in the complex politics of late season league cricket. The forecast for the afternoon is good so everyone has to act quickly. Our Chairman, Robbie, has to decide whether to call off the seconds' game at The Hollow. The seconds did not win in July and are not safe. They are at home to Petersfield who have not won all season. But Robbie knows how important Bob's support is for accreditation and for the three home games left for the firsts.
Meanwhile Colin is ringing Eastleigh. Fred is on holiday and that takes much of the control away from our bowling. Eastleigh have several big hitters and a wet wicket is a leveller. Eastleigh know we are likely to beat them 4 out of 5 times and do not want to bring down their points average with a defeat. Defeat is likely to drop them into a relegation place.
Tom and I clear out the umpire's changing room; ready for the Inspectors and listen to Colin skilfully persuade the Eastleigh captain that their match should not be played. I walk past Colin still with his mobile to his ear and he gives me the thumbs up.
Robbie has called off the seconds' game and starts to ring the players.
All of which means that the focus of the club will be on the thirds and fourths. The thirds won again last week and now have won 6 and lost 5; perhaps Robbo was right after all. The Green is on chalk and as the sun emerges its playable. Greg is cycling in Poland and Olly was in the Seconds so Robbo is captaining this week. Already the thirds have the end of season mid-table slumber about them; holidays mean we're short of players and it's noticeable after being away for a fortnight that the relegation fight is over. Robbo gathers us round and ends with
"Zee isn't playing, 100 all out and let's get stuck into them"
The rot sets in with me. I let a ball through my legs in the first over.
Robbo sets fields with slips and gullies and silly mid-offs; this attacking is liberating after a season of Greg's attrition. Portchester seconds are soon 80-1 off 15 overs though and we are paying for our abandon. The ball zips away to deserted boundaries and after a season of fielding isolation I chat to Swish in the slips all afternoon. Hannah makes her debut for the thirds and kept moderately and as we walked off we were chasing 175 and the game is lost. We were bowled out for 50; I told Swish:
"If there are many more games like that I'm giving up". Give me attrition every day.
Some of the firsts and seconds have been watching and we've confirmed their worst prejudices.
The fourths have won though and Dr. Mike has managed to get into a fight. No-one could ever remember a fight at a cricket match and although we all feigned dismay and some inevitably extended an incident in a minor cricket match to a breakdown of our society, we all wished we had been there to see it.
The fourths had been playing Portsmouth Post Office and a game coasting quietly downhill with its feet off the pedals came to life with a contested lbw decision and in the next over with Dr. Mike catching a slog. It became clear later that the bizarre overreaction that led to two Portsmouth PO players running onto the field to hit Dr. Mike was to do with the dark, skewed, honour code of Pompey families.
The game ended soon afterwards in more wickets for Callow and Mickey Brogan and with the fourths in with a good chance of promotion now.
